Anxiety has been part of my life for so long that I don’t really know who I am without it. I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and also just a high-strung, anxious nature–when things are going well, I tend to take a glass-half-full perspective and link my drive and work ethic to the ever-present anxiety that pushes me to always do more. But when things are going badly, sometimes it’s hard to function like a normal person because I’m so paralyzed with fear.
For those times, I’ve been prescribed Xanax. And it helps, for sure. But the thing is, I get nervous about taking it. (Yes, that’s right–I get anxious about the medication that’s supposed to make me less anxious. I am a disaster, y’all.) Even at the smallest doses, it makes me sleepy, so I don’t like to take it during the day. And although nighttime is usually when my anxiety peaks, even then, I don’t want to take it often because I’m afraid of becoming dependent.
Pictured: Beekeeper’s Naturals B.Chill Sticks
A mom friend who, like me, suffers from OCD, mentioned taking CBD for anxiety. My interest was piqued based on her experience–when her anxiety felt particularly out-of-control, the CBD would put a stop to the spiraling. I asked my doctor about it and she was dubious–while she gave the approval for me to give it a try, she cautioned that because marijuana is illegal, CBD hasn’t been researched enough to determine its impact on anxiety.
While this is true, the research that has been done on CBD (short for cannabidiol) looks promising. There’s a growing body of evidence demonstrating CBD’s usefulness for treating anxiety-related disorders. The FDA recently unanimously recommended approval for an epilepsy drug made from CBD called Epidiolex. Prior to researching CBD, I thought medical marijuana was just a way for people to get high legally–that might be true for some people, of course, but the medical benefits are real.
Before I talk about my experience using CBD for anxiety, you may be wondering, “Is CBD even legal?!” Well, yes, it is–kind of. What’s not legal is CBD derived from marijuana, unless you’re in a state where marijuana is legal. But CBD can also be derived from hemp and other sources–Grön, a CBD chocolate maker out of Portland, produces its CBD from an invasive pine tree and lemon peel. This kind of CBD is not illegal.
It took me a while to actually take the plunge and try CBD for anxiety because I had trouble finding sources that felt trustworthy. (As someone who quite literally obsesses over product purity–it’s one of my OCD fixations–this is the best argument I can think of to legalize marijuana. Legalization means regulation!) What helped me was:
- Actually reaching out to the manufacturers to ask questions. This was huge for me. If you have a good BS meter, I’d recommend taking this step. (The folks at Grön were especially candid and helpful–I learned so much from them!)
- Getting recommendations. From friends, from the staff at my local grocery co-op, and from Reddit and internet message boards. And Google everything!
- Treating CBD like other health supplements. I always buy supplements that share the results of 3rd party testing on their websites, that are transparent about their sourcing, and that manufacture their products in the United States or Canada.
Picutred: Grön CBD Chocolate
Just to be clear, CBD doesn’t get you high–and if you feel high after taking CBD, you’re probably taking a product that’s impure.
My Experience Taking CBD for Anxiety
The first CBD product I tried was Beekeeper’s Naturals B. Chill honey–this felt like a natural place to start since it was a brand I already knew and trusted. The effect was hard to describe; it wasn’t so much a particular feeling, but the absence of a feeling–the ever-present anxiety that’s just always there for me. I tend to carry tension in my body and I’m never still; I drive everyone around me crazy by constantly fidgeting and bouncing my legs. The CBD made my body feel calm and quiet.
That quiet feeling was mental too. My need to multitask and inability to concentrate on anything for longer than 5 minutes gave way to intense focus. I worried that CBD, like Xanax, would render me useless, but I’ve actually found that taking CBD helps me with work–unlike the Xanax, which I’d always have to time around bedtime, I feel comfortable taking CBD any time of the day.
Could it be a placebo effect? It very well could be. I don’t know! All I know is that CBD seems as effective for me as my prescription. And I haven’t had to take any Xanax since I started using CBD–I have two unfilled prescriptions sitting in my purse right now and a half-used bottle in the medicine cabinet.
Pictured: Sunday Scaries CBD Gummies
I soon picked up a few bars of Grön CBD chocolate (found after some intense Googling) and Sunday Scaries gummies after the owner reached out to Hello Glow via Instagram. Now I have a stockpile for anytime of day: honey for stirring into morning tea, a bottle of gummies to go with me in my purse, and chocolate to have to after dinner to help me sleep better.
That said, I’m not taking CBD all day long, or even every day. Unfortunately, CBD is pricey, so I use it like I used my Xanax–only when I really need it. When I’m having a particularly bad day with my anxiety, it’s usually the result of my mind latching onto some random thought and not letting go; the CBD helps me let those thoughts pass through rather than allowing them to snowball into something paralyzing.
It feels a little strange–even kind of scary–to be talking about this because CBD isn’t yet mainstream. And while slathering it on your skin is one thing, actually ingesting it is another. But we’re currently undergoing a sea change in how we talk about mental illness in this country; if we can be open about that, we should also be open about treatment options. CBD has a stigma attached to it because of its origins, but the fact that it’s a non-addictive alternative to benzodiazepines and opiates makes it worth researching and taking seriously–it’s not just for potheads.
Of course, all the usual disclaimers apply here. I’m not a doctor! If CBD is something you’re considering, talk to your doctor! And, obviously, my experience is my own; what worked for me might not work for you.154