**Warning: Long post! Personal post! Feel free to skip to the bottom.
I have been driving my family crazy with this blogging thing for 5 months now. And yesterday, I think I finally figured out why I love it so.
For months, I’ve wondered what the heck I am doing. Am I a mom blog? A craft blog? A food blog? A giveaway blog? A couple of people have pointed out how my blog is about so many different things and I thought, shoot, I better get my act together and focus!
I’ve felt the overwhelming need to categorize this little website and find my “box” per se. After trying on each of those identities, none fit. I love being a mom but I can’t write about that every single day. And I’ve discovered a bit of a crafty side, but I’m not driven enough to produce new creations day after day.
That’s when I start to get really fearful. I see so many blogs with gorgeous photos, thousands of followers, dozens of comments. And I think, why do I even bother?
The other night I told my friend, “The last thing the world needs is another mom blog.” And she replied: “Then you have to do it because you love it.” My sister echoed the same point: “When it’s not fun anymore, stop.”
And for a while it wasn’t fun. I got anxious and envious, spending too much time comparing myself to others, worrying about what was “missing” from my blog or whether anyone liked it. I put too much pressure on myself to reach a pointless daily page view goal. Who cares? I’ve decided that this little blog will take a vacation when I take one in a couple of weeks.
Does anyone else get stuck in this kind of negativity? It’s amazing how much time and energy it can drain.
Yesterday at my parent’s house, I picked up the book Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy and it immediately spoke to me. From the very first page, I started thinking, yes, yes, that’s it exactly! This little blog has become my journal of sorts. A daily journal of figuring out what I love and what makes me happy. I’ve never crafted a day in my life but I’ve found that I love making jewelry. I like making simple food that my family can enjoy. I like purple.
I’ve always felt drawn to the word “curiosity.” I know that I like to learn and find new things. Now I think of myself as a detective – on a mission to find what makes me happy and create a life of contentment. So if my only readers are the people related to me (hi Mom!) then that’s ok.
I’m trying to move past the perfectionism and fear – and focus on what’s authentic for me. Simple pleasures, inspiring people & places, creative endeavors. Things that make me happy.
Tell me what makes you happy! I would love to hear :)
**Did you really skip down here? Get back up there and read the whole thing! :)
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I agree!! My blog is for me, if others want to enjoy it~that is great. When it stops being fun I take a vaca! I LOVE your blog!
For some reason I clicked to this blog. I feel the same way sometimes, but then again, I really like writing about my travels and whatever else I'm doing. It's fun. My roommate stopped her blog because she wasn't having fun anymore and that's fine (it's a good thing because now she helps me all the time).
I feel exaclty the same way, I have been blogging for a while now, and felt pressure from 'somewhere' to get lots of followers, and write inspiring blogs etc., but now I do it for myself and anyone who cares to read it. I don't have the most exciting things to say, but I say them anyway. If anyone finds what I say interesting then I am pleased, if not then that is fine._I think your blog is fab. x
i think you are doing fine- you have over a thousand followers…….. i can't even imagine that! your blog is great- just leave it be ;)
Wow, it's amazing to browse the comments and see that we all have something in common. I get blog envy – I want to earn a dime or two, having a huge number of followers, have plenty of comments, and a niche. When I started blogging, a friend with an impressive blog told me to just write. Another mentor told me to stop watching the stats and just write. So, I've deleted statcounter from my blog and am writing when I feel something stirring within me. It is somewhat liberating as this summer my energies are wrapped up entertaining and educating my girls in this 10 week hiatus called summer vacation.
You got some great advice there! It's all of the other “stuff” related to blogging that you mentioned that kills the joy of it. Good for you in staying focused on what's important!
Just have to say….I am such a lucky mom….so very proud and love you both so much!
As usual, thanks for your honesty and genuineness sis–your "personal" blogs are my favorite :) And as evidenced by the comments, we are not alone in our periodic "self-confidence crises" :) I really like the idea of your journal–like Mom said, I've enjoyed watching you develop so many different aspects of yourself-who knew you could make jewelry???? But please keep sharing your struggles because that's what I most love about blogs, that feeling of connection and that so many others are dealing with similar things…. Love you!
Eh…I feel you on this one. I've been blogging on my little blog for about two years! If success of a blog is decided by it's followers and comments than my blog is an epic fail. I struggled with comparison for a long time, still do {what am I? a girl or something? lol} but I have to remind myself why I started a blog. It's basically an online catalog of tear sheets that I love to look back on and read. While it's not a personal blog per se, it is a part of me. Something that is full of things I am passionate about.
Listen to your sister and friend! Plus I think there are a lot of ladies who come here everyday to read what you write. Love your blog!
I love your blog. I've been slacking with my RSS feed lately (believe it or not, I'm still working on getting settled after moving a month ago), but your blog is one of my favorites. Really. I've gone through the same identity crisis after hearing so many of the pro-blogger types talk about how important it is to have a niche and if you don't focus, your blog will be a spectacular failure. But then I realized that the goals I have for my blog are different than theirs. I know I'll never make a living off my blog–I feel like in order to do that, I'd have to compromise in ways I don't want to (like accepting paid links or sponsored posts–don't wanna do that). And so maybe my blog will never be a success by other people's standards, but my standard is to write real posts and attract people who read my blog, not simply follow it. You know?
It's hard not to compare yourself to other bloggers. When I see bloggers with a sidebar full of Etsy shop ads, I wonder why I have trouble finding advertisers (probably because I'm horrible at selling myself?). When I see a gorgeous layout, I start picking apart mine. I think we all do it. :/
I struggled with my own blog's identity too but then realized my favorite blogs ever are the ones that don't necessarily have a theme… they have a little of everything. I liked my blog way better when I re-read it and there was a mix of outfit posts, recipes, pictures of my family, etc. One of the things I LOVE about YOUR blog is it's diversity also. Keep it up… the features, the giveaways, the pictures, the revelations. They're all good and yes, you're making a beautiful journal that you'll always have the cherish.
I had a beauty blog as well as my YouTube channel and I was feeling so pressured to get my views up, get my subscribers in, ect. It was draining and I felt like every post/video was such a chore!
In January of this year I decided to take on a personal project and start a blog just for me. I wanted to be able to print them at the end of the year sort of like a scrap book. I didnt care if ANYONE ever read, truly. It wasnt until about 2 months ago when I had my video camera stolen and was forced to take a YouTube break that I decided to also delete my beauty blog. No warning, just hit delete and said goodbye. Suddenly I'm stuck with only my personal blog and ENJOYING every post. Looking forward to entries and not feeling ANY pressure for anything… I love it! And while I will go back to YouTube once I get a new camera (it is quite fun), I won't be caring about views or how often I post a new video. I'm not trying to fit into a niche or anything I'm just talking about my life and reminding myself why it's awesome.
i get the blogging blues all. the. time. i think – what am i doing this for! then i remind myself as you have done above, the second this becomes a chore to me i will stop. as long as it is something i enjoy, i'll keep it up. as you should, too!
Focus on what make you happy…you will never wrong in that way!
Hi Stephanie
You know I had an 'a-ha' moment just the other day, after all the computer problems I had last week. Getting on with my life and spending more time with the family made me say to my husband that I think I should give the blog away. He told me 'no'. He said why stop doing something that I like to do. I've only been doing it since January this year and it's probably the first time since the kids were born that I've got a focus on something other than them. But in saying that, my blog content is about them and what I do for my family every day. I try not to compare my blog to others. I don't have many followers nor do I get many comments but I do love doing it and feel like it's a daily journal for me too and something that I can share with the children when they're older. I hope to print out my recipes in a blog book at the end of the year and put it away for the kids for when they move out of home. (Yeah, like that's going to happen. Both of them, at ages 6 and 4, say they're living with us forever! LOL)
Anne xx
Hey Stephanie…I am actually glad to hear you feel the same way I do! I have been blogging for about the same length of time and have only a fraction of the followers you do! I currently have 100 more people reading via Feedburner than following via GFC so I think there are a lot of non commenters! And I want to thank you for commenting on my site each and every day! I truly makes me happy. I agree with Jennifer above about it being stressful hear from one place that you need to focus your blog on one subject and from another that you should have multiple subjects. I always wonder if I should be blogging about only one thing but that seems boring to me! It is hard to see a site that has only been up for a month and they have a couple thousand followers already. Somedays it feels like we are back in high school trying to fit in and then I think, truly, I don't care! I started my site as a way for my customers to find me online, due to their requests and have grown much more than I expected! And I have met some wonderful people, such as yourself! So, onward I go until…as your sister said…it isn't fun anymore!
Oh my gosh, I can so relate. After the past week or so with both kids and hubby having the flu, my 15 mo old getting 4 teeth at once, and 3 year old with ear infection I was so close to giving up. I have also had someone completely copying my blog which also made me want to just throw in the towel. I don't have thousands of followers… who cares? But I keep coming back, because it's MY creative outlet. I'm glad YOU are still here. You're doing amazing.
Stephanie I feel the same way about my blog. But what I have realized is comparison kills contentment. I started comparing myself to other BIG blogs and started thinking "Well mine kinda sucks compared to theirs." But every blog has their own unique style of writing and what they post about..be it random or scheduled…and there is something out there for everyone! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE your blog and I think posting about what makes YOU happy and tick is what other people will love as well because it is genuinely you. :)
I have started 3 different blogs and then I just stop because why would anyone care what I think? That and my laundry piles up faster than I can type and supposedly children are to be fed at least 3 times a day. Priorities I guess. I have just found your blog this past week and love it! Thank you for keeping up with it :)
Haha, that is so true! This blogging thing can me a full-time job – minus the paycheck!
Hi there, I just happened to be drafting a post similar to this now, but that's as far as its come. I have 5 boys and I do not want to spend all my free time trying to make and outdo everything and everyone by blogging. Everytime I feel discouraged, my husband reminds me to only keep doing this if it is fun. Thing is, it really is. I love the outlet. I am creative, visual, it's perfect for me. I thank you for writing this though because I feel like there are {more than we think} many who wonder the same thing, where do I fit in? I am a mom of boys, I love being creative but it cannot be my focus nor my priority at this time, I don't want to be thinking, how will this look on my blog? when I am documenting a moment, etc. Just wanted to say I get it and thank you for putting it out there, gives me the courage and inspiration to do it too.
Hi Michelle – I can't wait to read your post! But even if you don't publish it's nice just to get the words/thoughts out. We all seem to struggle with similar issues – where do I fit in?? With 5 boys, I can only imagine how crazy things can be!
This is a very timely post! I love it! I'm going through the EXACT same thing. And I very nearly threw in the towel after this past weekend. I was so disappointed by my low stats… I just can't figure out why they go so up and down all the time. And with that I go up and down. Cranky when they are low, and so so happy when things are a rollin'! I am also struggling with where my blog is going. What kind of blog am I? I can't craft every day. But I can cook. I love to cook… but do I just want to be a food blog? I don't blog about my kids, so then what? Where does that leave me? So I found myself asking what the heck am I doing all of this for? Then I was reminded by my own self and my hubby, that I blog for me. For me. Because I love it. I love taking the photos, making a craft when I feel like it, trying new foods and documenting this part of my life. I'm going to stick with it, and keep creating new friendships. I decided to look at my stats less often, I'm going to comment more, I'm doing this for fun. It has to be fun!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts! You are not alone! (And speaking of stats! You have almost 1200 followers in only 5 months?! Amazing!!)
Jo-Anna
That's right – it had better be fun! I feel like disabling my stats page :) I'm so glad you decided not to throw in the towel!
I have loved your blog Stephanie, from the very beginning. The delightful part for me has been watching all these wonderful aspects of yourself blossom as you discover and share them…. I've learned so much about you, my own daughter. And as I recall, I really loved that book you picked up on Simple Abundance. The process of discovering who you are, what you love and what makes you happy—-it's the journey of a lifetime, as they say. I'm proud of you, Steph. And yes, I will always be a faithful and proud fan and reader!
I frequently feel the same way (and I just read your post about Gabrielle from Design Mom – I also have a major crush on and envy of her and her sister, Jordan). I think we all look at our [lack of] page views or [lack of] comments and feel inadequate, but then I have to remind myself that I blog because I love sharing bits and pieces of my life, being inspired by those around me, and striving to constantly improve my presentation. My boyfriend says the same thing as your sister…when it becomes unenjoyable or a chore, just stop! :) I enjoyed reading this post, btw (your honesty is SO refreshing)! And your blog is lovely…
Aww, thanks for you kind words – and for stopping by! :)
I think every blogger feels the same way you do! I struggle too with finding my niche but you know what one day you read you should stay focused on one subject and then the next day you can read another bit of advice that suggests you should blog about multiple subjects….I decided the heck with it as long as I enjoy what I am writing then so be it! You need to blog for you first, if you are happy with what you have to say that will shine through to your readers! Keep up the good work!
So true – as long as you do what's right for you I don't think you can go wrong.
Ah, I can completely relate! I've been blogging for almost a year. I totally get jealous of bloggers with lots of comments. I absolutely feel disappointed by low daily views. But I also enjoy the heck out of going back and reading pieces of my life. You're right, your site becomes a journal. And maybe I don't have lots of commentors, but I have a small and growing group of ladies (where are the men?!) who leave sweet messages and feel like friends from around the world. So I try to focus on those things as a measure of my blog's "success." Or I just try to enjoy life and this unique way of sharing it. :)
Yes, comments are my new thing to obsess over & feel inadequate about :) How do some people have dozens of comments on every post?? Amazing. My sister said she thinks I have a lot of non-commenting readers. Whether that is true or not, it made me feel better :)
Stephanie I agree with your sis. I think some people really do just read and don't leave tons of comments…but I always think if you like something or you are thinking something is interesting about a post share it!
Yes, God bless the commenters! I've recently started doing more commenting (thanks to your advice) & have had such fun! You find the coolest people, blogs & projects.
Totally hear ya. I've been blogging about the some length of time as you and had to let myself out of the box. Blogs should show who you are…and it's impossible to define yourself in one, two, three….ten words. As we get to know you through your writing all of the posts that are here and there come together to make sense…to make you!
That is a great way to put it! Good for you in getting out of the box! :)